Cop Responding To #DomesticViolence Call Shoots Dog

I find no fault with the Officer, as this story has been reported by the Miami Herald.

When I read this story I felt just, so sad.

It made me think that the animal that was shot, and being treated for non threatening injuries, was protecting the victim of #DomesticViolence.  In short, #TheLink -

Our furry companions are wired to protect us and when one of us is in harms way and then you introduce another person, a complete outsider - an officer, although well meaning.  Our companions don't know the difference and neither do the officers that respond to these calls.  Chaos often ensues.

At least this officer fired a non life threatening shot that allowed him to get to the woman in need.  Major #Kudos to this un-named Officer for his quick thinking!

See the story here.

How This Shelter Is Working To Reduce Animal Abuse. Are YOU In?

Follow through!

“When people report animal cruelty, we really need them to help us further by showing up in court and testifying as to what they saw,” Hudson said.
 
Hudson also urges people to contact their lawmakers to tell them to support groups that work to prevent animal cruelty and enforce current laws.

Read the full story here.

Report Animal Abuse - Expose Domestic Abuse

#Animal_Abuse precedes #Human_Abuse.  Most of us agree on that fact.

This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to report animal abuse.  It may be the first indication that persons in the home are in danger.

http://instagram.com/#Anyone who does this to an animal, isn't treating the people in their life any better.

#Remember Tramelle LaVann Sturgis and all the children before and after him.

nationallinkcoalition.org

Young Song, The Dog Killer Next Door

Residents of California and communities in the United States have good reason to be concerned about the whereabouts of animal abusers like Young Song. In story after heartbreaking story, abusers repeat their violent crimes against helpless animals, and often go on to victimize people as well.

The man convicted of beating his neighbor’s dog to death with a hammer shows classic behavior symptoms in need of psychological evaluation and treatment (Man who killed dog with hammer banned from owning pets, October, 5 2012). Anyone whose anger and lack of empathy could result in such a heartless act should be punished to the fullest extent of the laws available.

What will become on Young Song after he serves his time, pays his fines and completes counseling, if any was ordered?  Will he return to the home where he lived when he brutally killed his neighbor’s dog or will he move?

I would want to know if a violent or repeat animal abuser were living next door to me and my family. Animal abuse is often just the tip of the iceberg.  According to the Animal Legal Defense Fund, animal abusers are five times more likely to commit violent crimes against people and four times more likely to commit property crimes than are individuals without a history of animal abuse.

Convicted animal abusers pose a real, ongoing threat to pets, families, and communities.  Having an animal abuse registry would be an invaluable tool.  An animal abuse registry would require mandatory registration and community notification for convicted animal abusers.  This would make a dramatic difference in keeping offenders away from potential new victims allowing animal shelters and humane societies to more thoroughly screen potential adopters—and by alerting the public to their whereabouts.

Full story here

 Click here to demand your state require animal abusers register in your community. Tweet Follow @AHALink

Pledge to be an Active Bystander

 This video demonstrates the Bystander Effect.

 

 

Bystander effect

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

This article is about the psychological phenomenon. For the bystander effect in radiobiology, see Bystander effect (radiobiology).

The bystander effect or Genovese syndrome is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases where individuals do not offer any means of help in an emergency situation to the victim when other people are present. The probability of help has often appeared to be inversely related to the number of bystanders; in other words, the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help. The mere presence of other bystanders greatly decreases intervention. In general, this is believed to happen because as the number of bystanders increases, any given bystander is less likely to notice the situation, interpret the incident as a problem, and less likely to assume responsibility for taking action.<sup>[1] Read more here.

 WHAT ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WE DON’T INTERRUPT ABUSE OR    VIOLENCE?</sup>

• ^{“It isn’t my problem.” - Violence is EVERYONE'S problem. We are all affected by abuse and violence in our communities.}
• 
  ^{“It isn’t going to change anything.” – Your action is going to help others see that they can take a stand against violence. It also shows the victim she or he is not alone.}
• 
  ^{“It may make things worse, or the abuser might turn on me.” - The point of being an active bystander is to help the situation calm down, not create more violence.}
• 
  ^{“Maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing.” - Any kind of violence IS a big deal, even grabbing someone’s arm or yelling in their face; even calling someone names. If it seems wrong, it probably is.}
• 
  ^{“They might have started it or deserved it.” - No one chooses to be abused, and no one ever deserves to be abused.}
• 
  ^{“I’m not a ‘rat’.” - Being an active bystander does not mean you’re being a ‘rat’ or that you’re weak. It means you have zero tolerance for abuse and violence.}
• 
  ^{“No one else seems to care that this is happening.” - Many people want to see an end to abuse and violence, but are unsure of how or when to speak up.}  

^{It takes one person to take stand up and out of the crowd to intervene and prevent abuse and violence.  Don't expect anyone else will have the strength to do it.  It must be you!}

Research indicates that when presented with a need/call for help, people may be less likely to intervene with there are a lot of people around. They expect that someone else will handle the situation.

Is it your responsibility? Yes it is.

You may ask yourself a few questions:

Is it a problem or risky situation I should be aware of?

Is there an animal or someone that needs help?

Can I or others be part of the solution?

Other questions to ask yourself during the situation:

How can I keep myself safe?

What are my available options?

Are there others I may call upon for help?

What are the benefits/costs for taking action?

What is the cost of not acting? If you choose not to act in some way, how does that impact someone’s life?

Preventing abuse or an act of violence is a MORAL duty. A duty we should do because “it’s the right thing to do.” Sometimes it may help to think of others as a sister, brother or your family's companion animal – what would you do to protect your family?
 

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New Domestic Violence Shelter in North Carolina Opens Soon

Depending on where you live, up to 50% of women will stay in an abusive relationship because they have nowhere to go with their companion pets or live stock animals.  They fear for the safety of their pets if they were to leave them behind.  In many cases, their pets are also being abused, tortured or even killed.

wbtv.com in North Carolina, recently reported there's a new domestic violence shelter for battered women set to open soon in North Carolina.  It will replace a 33 year old cramped facility that only sustained 29 beds.

The new facility is 41k sq. ft., and has 80 beds available.  It features 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment style suites.  It's reported the shelter is designed to be extra bright, spacious and includes a dining hall, workout room, courtyard, and  playground.

The story  made no mention of whether or not it was designed to shelter companion animals, let alone live stock, or not.  So I called the number for United Family Services listed in the news report, 704.373.1604, only to reach a fax line.  I took the next step and looked up the number for United Family Services in North Carolina, 704.332.9034, and asked them if the new facility would shelter companion animals.  The woman who answered the phone didn't know.  I thought that was rather odd, but she gave me the direct number of the shelter, 704.332.2513, which I called and posed the same question;  does the new facility shelter companion animals?  The woman who answered the phone at the shelter didn't know either and she tells me to contact Jane Taylor.

At this point, it doesn't look very good for women who need a place to go with their pets, but I take the name of the woman she refers me to and I give her a call.  Jane tells me that due to economic issues they don't shelter companion animals on site.  They do, however, partner with local animal control and fosters to shelter family pets during the time a family stays at the shelter, often for months at a time.  There are times when residents at the domestic violence shelter need a little more time and in a circumstance like that, they rely on foster families to continue the care for the family animals.  I was so relieved to hear this news!

Jane stated it's been a very successful program for them.  The Animal Control Officers are available to them 24/7.  This program allows for entire families to flee as soon as is possible without worry for their pets.  Jane mentioned that just recently they did an intake on a family with a dog very late one night.  Without any delay, animal control responded at that late hour to take the family dog to safety!

It's outrageous for brand new facilities not to accommodate companion animals or at the very least partner with animal shelters and fosters like this shelter does, to care for the entire family, which includes pets.  The statistics stated above come directly from domestic violence shelters across the United States.  They are very aware of the need to Shelter Animals and Families Together.

For tips and resources on leaving an abusive relationship for men and women, world wide, click here.

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Early Warning Signs For Abuse Continue To Be Ignored

Wouldn’t you want to know if a violent or repeat animal abuser were living next door to you and your family? Animal abusers are five times more likely to commit violent crimes against people and four times more likely to commit property crimes than are individuals without a history of animal abuse.



Convicted animal abusers pose a real, ongoing threat to your pets, your family, and your community. The Animal Legal Defense Fund’s proposed abuser registry legislation would require mandatory registration and community notification for convicted animal abusers. These laws would make a dramatic difference in keeping offenders away from potential new victims by allowing animal shelters and humane societies to more thoroughly screen potential adopters—and by alerting the public to their whereabouts.

(cont.)
In 2004, the then 29-year-old Robert Rydzewski shot his neighbor’s dog Mollie in the face twice, claiming she was going after him and his rabbits. The upstate New Yorker was charged with torturing and injuring an animal. Two months later, he killed another neighbor’s Welsh Corgi, named Sis, with an ax, resulting in yet another charge of torturing and killing a domestic animal.

Rydzewski pled guilty, and the judge sentenced him to 90 days in jail and one year of probation, and also granted both dog owners permanent orders of protection.  His plea bargain included the dismissal of other charges including reckless endangerment for allegedly pointing a rifle toward someone during the shooting incident. He has since been arrested for assaulting people and resisting arrest, and his whereabouts are unknown.

Click HERE to sign a petition supporting an animal abuse registry in your area. Source: exposeanimalabusers.org.

Often times, animal abuse is just the tip of the iceberg.  People who care about their friends, family and communities have the right to know if there are people with a propensity towards violence among them.

Expose animal abusers ~ Demand an animal abuse registry in your state NOW!

Read more here about how animal cruelty affect you and your community.



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Chicago's Garfield Park: Hot Spot For All Forms Of Abuse

On December 10, 2011, Tribune reporter, Rosemary Sobol wrote this chilling story about bloody paw prints that lead police to a woman abusing a dog in Chicago's Garfield Park area. 

Lashon Parks said she "no longer wanted" her dog and let it out in the 25 degree weather to fend for itself in the East Garfield Park neighborhood where children apparently beat it with broomsticks and baseball bats, police said.

Recently, the Chicago Sun Times reported this story on mother of West Garfield Park newborn who died.  The mother is accused of neglect.  Credible evidence was found to substantiate allegations of neglect in this home as far back as 2009. 

This map shows circles that depict the number of reported domestic violence incidents in 2011.  The Garfield Park neighborhood toward the center comes in at over 3000 incidents.

Animal abuse is often the 1st sign that people in a home are in danger.  Be part of the solution and not part of the problem by reporting even suspected abuse.  It can be done anonymously. 

Click here to find where in the U.S. to report known or suspected animal cruelty and neglect in your area.

Click here to find where in the U.S. to report known or suspected child abuse and neglect in your area.

Click here to find where in the U.S. to report known or suspected domestic violence in your area.

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Purchases with a Purpose

Q: Do you or someone you know have a pet that needs to be spayed or neutered and can not afford it? A: Probably.

AHA Treasures wants to help control the pet population by helping you, your friends, family members and neighbors to get your pets spayed and neutered.

We will donate a percentage of our profit from each sale that will directly go towards spaying or neutering an animal in need.

Here's how it works. Once the fund reaches $90.00 a random name will be selected to receive the award. No purchase is necessary, however, sales do benefit the program!

To qualify for the drawing you must do at least 1 of the following:

1. Follow me on Pinterest - http://pinterest.com/ellenmckendree/ and just repin any of our webstore items you like.

2. Follow me on Twitter @ellenmckendree Tweet and/or retweet any of our webstore items you like, and mention @ellenmckendree with the webstore items.

3. Follow us on Twitter @AHALink Tweet and/or retweet any of our webstore items you like, and mention @AHALink with the webstore items.

There are no limits on repins, tweets, retweets or mentions. The more you repin, tweet, retweet and mention the greater your chances to help an animal in need!

AHA Treasures will pay up to:

$65.00 for Female Cats

$51.00 for Male Cats

$90.00 for Female Dogs

$64.00 for Male Dogs

We will help you find a low cost spay and neuter clinic in your area which may offer lower or higher fees for the procedure. If the fees are higher than the listed limit above, you are responsible for the difference which should be nominal.

Many clinics around the U.S. offer free spay and neutering for pit bulls and mixes. In this instance, you may "gift" your award to another animal in need.

You have nothing to lose and an animal in need has everything to gain.  Again, no purchase is necessary.  Just view the items and if you like them - share them with your followers on Pinterest and Twitter.

Please help control the pet population to end needless suffering.

Watch "How I Became an Elephant" Here and Support IDA Tweet Follow @AHALink

 

News From LOHV Washington State

The League of Humane Voters and Washington Alliance for Humane Legislation have surveyed legislative candidates on their views of humane legislation. We had 95 responses from candidates in various districts.  The questionnaire asks each candidate whether they would support animal welfare bills covering important topics such as limits on dog tethering, inhumane agricultural practices, low cost spay and neuter and more.  You can find the results of the questionnaire on our LOHV website, www.lohvwastate.org.  This is a great way to become informed on a candidates views before you vote.

 

A preview of our endorsement list, which will be posted on our website shortly.  The process for candidate endorsement for incumbent legislators, is a review of past voting records, overall support of humane legislation while in office and survey responses.  For new candidates we base our endorsement on survey response.  

 

Together the Humane Questionnaire and our endorsement list will inform you of animal friendly candidates.  We can’t pass humane laws without legislators that will support them.  Voting animal friendly candidates into office is the fundamental building block to passing animal protective legislation.  Please take the time to review the Humane Legislation Questionnaire and our endorsement list and vote with the power of knowledge!

 

P.S.  The first annual  Washington Week for the Animals is taking place this week (July 14th through July 22nd).  This event is put on by Animal World USA and designed to bring communities together on behalf of animals.  There is a still a few days left and an event calendar is posted on their website at http://www.washingtonanimals.org/contact.html.  Please support this effort by attending some of the great events occurring this weekend.

 

Thank you all for supporting the animals of Washington State.  You can save thousands of animals with just one vote!

 

Mary Chmelik, Director of The League of Humane Voters, Washington State Chapter

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Majority Of Legislation Signed By Gov. Cuomo Focuses On Local Issues - NY1.com

Majority Of Legislation Signed By Gov. Cuomo Focuses On Local Issues - NY1.com

 Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed more than 150 pieces of legislation before a midnight deadline Wednesday. Many are bills that passed in a flurry of activity in the final days of the legislative session. NY1’s Zack Fink filed the following report.
Many of the bills signed by Gov. Andrew Cuomo are local and specific only to certain areas of New York State.
For example, New York City will now have mandatory kindergarten for 5-year-olds. Supporters of the bill, which included members of the New York City Council, said 3,000 kids who were eligible were not enrolling in kindergarten each year. Studies show that early childhood education gives kids a huge advantage when it comes to learning.
"The impetus of this particular legislation was that members of the city council heard around the city that parents that were registering their children in kindergarten at five years old were basically being told that it’s not necessary, you can wait until their kids are six years old. And that our classes are overcrowded. So basically, they were being shooed away,” said Councilman Robert Jackson.
The governor also signed legislation banning paraphernalia used for human-orchestrated animal fighting, specifically dog fighting.
"That includes what’s called a breaking stick. A breaking stick allows you to separate the jaw of a dog if it’s caught on to another dog, if it’s biting another animal,” said Assemblywoman Nicole Malliotakis.
Another bill gives the city's community boards more input in determining which bars and clubs can obtain liquor licenses through the New York State Liquor Authority or SLA. In Hunts Point, several violent incidents outside nightclubs prompted local leaders to crack down. But under the law, they had little say over what gets licensed. That has now changed.
"No matter what issues were raised by the community, the SLA simply made a black-and-white decision based on the applicant's information and not taking into consideration the concerns of the community. That has to end and this bill finally recognizes the role of the community input in this process,” said Assemblyman Marcos Crespo.
The legislature passed a total of 571 bills this year. Of those, Gov. Cuomo has signed 262 of them, including budget bills. That leaves 309 bills that are awaiting his signature. In this latest round of signings, there were no vetoes.


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Coalition Focuses on Animal Law Issues - MauiWeekly.com | News, information, serving Maui, Hawaii weekly — The Maui Weekly

Coalition Focuses on Animal Law Issues - MauiWeekly.com | News, information, serving Maui, Hawaii weekly — The Maui Weekly


A coalition of local animal welfare organizations gathered at the J.W. Cameron Center on Monday, July 9, for an informal discussion of animal law issues in the State of Hawai'i.
The two-hour grassroots meeting focused on the ongoing battle to improve existing animal welfare laws, as well as efforts to introduce new legislation and regulations that would ensure the protection of creatures great and small across Maui County.
The evening featured presentations from several animal protection groups, including guest speakers Inga Gibson, the Hawai'i State director for the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS), Maui Humane Society CEO Jocelyn Bouchard, Rep. George Fontaine and Rene Umberger, speaking on behalf of For the Fishes.
"The issues surrounding animals on Maui are so numerous and complicated that they cannot be addressed by any one individual or organization," said Bouchard. "That's why we are so thrilled to be part of a new coalition of animal welfare groups who all recognize how much more effective we will be working together on behalf of the animals."
To many, Hawai'i has demonstrated leniency toward clear animal rights, and as a result, the state has ranked among the worst states in the nation in terms of animal welfare. Some believe the state Legislature's failure to enact strict, unambiguous animal protection laws is embedded in the sanctioning of cultural and traditional practices such as cockfighting and consumption of dog meat.
For example, in 2011 legislative session, a bill that would have prohibited the slaughter and trade of cat and dog meat was deferred. Rep. Fontaine, who represents the South Maui district in the state House of Representatives, was bitterly disappointed by the outcome of the so-called "Dog Meat Bill."
Rep. Fontaine agreed that the legislative process is often riddled with complexities, which can generate a lot of frustration.
"It's a challenge as a legislator to protect these vulnerable creatures," Rep. Fontaine said. "This is why it's so important to speak up and let your elected officials know that animal cruelty is not okay, and rally around those who support animal rights."
Rep. Fontaine has been an ardent supporter of animal welfare legislation, stemming from incidents of animal cruelty he witnessed firsthand during his years with the Maui Police Department.
"We appreciate Rep. Fontaine's support of animal-related bills and his understanding that these issues reach far beyond the animals themselves," said Bouchard. "We understand all too well the frustration of people using cultural practices to excuse cruel and inhumane acts of violence."
But Gibson, a lobbyist who helped enact last year's landmark law prohibiting the sale or possession of shark fins, said 2012 has also seen its fair share of victories. Gov. Neil Abercrombie recently signed HB 2296 into law, which makes it illegal to sell, transport or purchase products containing bear bile and gallbladders. The governor also signed SB 3001, which prevents the spread of axis


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Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship with Kids and/or Pets - Tips for Creating a Safety Plan

Ending an important relationship is never easy.  It’s even harder if you have been isolated from your family and friends.  Chances are you’ve been physically and psychologically beaten down and financially controlled.  You, your loved ones and your family pets may also be targets of constant threats.

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and torn.  One moment, you may desperately want to get away and the next you may want to hang on to the relationship.  Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt or self-blame.  The only thing that matters is your safety.

If you are being abused, please remember:

You are not to blame for being abused or mistreated.

You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect.

You are worthy of real true love.

You deserve a safe and happy life free from abuse.

Your children, friends, family and pets deserve a life free from abuse.

You can take control of your life.

You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

There are things you can do to protect yourself.  These safety tips can make the difference between being severely injured or killed and escaping with your life.  These safety tips are provided to demonstrate there is hope and help out there waiting for you.  These safety tips are NOT intended to be a substitute for the professional help of a domestic violence counselor.

Prepare Yourself for Emergencies

Chances are you know your abuser’s red flags.  Be on alert for signs and clues that your abuser is getting upset and may explode in anger or violence.  Come up with several believable reasons you can use to leave the house during the day and at night if you feel trouble brewing.  For example, return a movie or a library book.

Identify safe areas of the house where you can go.  Plan to go there if your abuser attacks or an argument starts.  Avoid small enclosed spaces without exits like closets or bathrooms; or rooms with weapons like the kitchen or garage.  If possible, head for a room with a phone and an outside door or window.

Come up with a code word.  Establish a word, phrase or signal you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors or co-workers know that you are in danger and the police should be called immediately. 

Some Tips on Money

If you are employed and make your own money, open your own checking account at a different bank as soon as you can.  If credit is an issue, purchase a prepaid Visa or MasterCard from a local grocery or drug store.  Deposit as much money into the account that is safely possible to avoid detection as often as you can.

If you are unemployed and have no source of income other than your abuser, there is still hope!  Start selling items you no longer need or want whether it is clothing, furniture, jewelry, toys, DVDs, video games or books.  Contact a local consignment shop, have a garage sale or open an eBay account.

Purchase name brand products for your kitchen and bathroom such as shampoo, conditioner, detergents and cleaners.  Save and hide the name brand product package away when it’s all gone.  When you go shopping to replace those items, buy the less expensive store brand and refill the name brand containers with it.  Perhaps your abuser scrutinizes your receipts – no problem.  Repurchase the name brands and take them home for a receipt review.   As soon as you can, take the products with the receipt back to the store for a refund and purchase the less expensive store brand again.  You can deposit the difference into your new account!

 

Sell your blood plasma.  You can generally get $40 for the first and second visit.  When you become a frequent donor they will likely pay around $30. If you do it twice a week you may get, up to, an extra $240. Be prepared for a lengthy physical.  Then a needle in you for 45 minutes, afterward you don't need the physical; just the 45 minute needle.  Research what companies are paying in your area.

Open your own checking account at a different bank as soon as you can.  If credit is an issue, purchase a prepaid Visa or MasterCard from a local grocery or drug store.  Deposit as much money into the account that is safely possible to avoid detection as often as you can.

Make Your Escape Plan

Be ready to leave at a moment’s notice.  Keep your car fueled up and facing the driveway exit with the driver’s door unlocked.  Hide a spare car key where you can get it quickly.  Keep emergency cash, clothing, important phone numbers, medications and legal documents such as I.D., passports, birth certificates, titles and registrations, insurance cards – medical and auto – and medical files for family pets hidden in a safe place.  For example, consider getting a safety deposit box at a different bank; secure them at work or at a trusted friend’s house.  Get a P.O. Box.

Practice escaping quickly and safely.  Rehearse your escape plan so you know exactly what to do if under attack from your abuser.  If you have children, practice the escape plan with them. 

Make and memorize a list of emergency contacts.  Ask trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, need a pet sitter or help contacting the police.  Memorize the numbers of your emergency contacts, local shelter and domestic violence hotline.

Phone Safety

If you don’t have a cell phone, consider getting one - even an emergency prepaid one.  Seek out where the closest public phone is in case of emergency.  When seeking help for domestic violence call from a public pay phone, a cell phone that your abuser does not know about or another phone outside the house if possible.  In the U.S., call 911.

Avoid cordless telephones.  If you’re calling from your home, use a corded phone if you have one rather than a cordless phone or cell phone that your abuser isn’t aware of.  A corded phone is more private, and less easy to tap.

Call collect or use a prepaid phone card.  Remember that if you use your own home phone the phone numbers that you call will be listed on the monthly bill that is sent to your home.  Even if you’ve already left by the time the bill arrives, your abuser may be able to track you down by the phone numbers you’ve called for help.  For that very reason, deliberately make calls to businesses like hotels and rental car companies that are way out of town, out of state or in the complete opposite direction of where you will be going to before you leave.  Do not make calls to friends, relatives or co-workers as it may put them in danger if your abuser thinks they are hiding you.

Check your cell phone settings.  There are cell phone technologies your abuser can use to listen in on your calls or track your location.  Your abuser can use your cell phone as a tracking device if it has GPS, is in silent mode or is set to auto answer.   Turn it off when not in use or leave it behind when you flee from your abuser.

Computer and Internet Safety

Abusers often monitor their partner’s activities, including their computer use.  While there are ways to delete your internet history, this can be a red flag to your abuser that you’re trying to hide something.  So be very careful.  Furthermore, it is almost impossible to clear a computer of all evidence of the websites that you have visited unless you know a lot about computers.

Use a safe computer.  If you seek help online, you are safest if you use a computer outside of your home.  You can use a computer at work, a friend’s house, the library, your local community center or a domestic violence shelter/agency.

Be careful with email and instant messaging.  Email and instant messaging are not the safest way to get help for domestic violence.  Be particularly careful when sending email as your abuser may know how to access your account.  Create a new email account that your abuser does not know about.

Change your user names and passwords.  Create new usernames and passwords for your email, online banking and other sensitive accounts when it’s safe to do so.  Even if you think your abuser doesn’t have your passwords, they may be able to guess it, use spyware or a key-logging program to get them.  Choose passwords that your abuser cannot guess - avoid birthdays, nicknames and other personal information.

Protecting Yourself from GPS Surveillance and Recording Devices

Your abuser doesn’t need to be tech savvy in order to use surveillance technology to monitor your activities and listen in on your conversations.  Be aware that your abuser may be using hidden cameras such as a Nanny Cam or a baby monitor to check in on you.  Global Positioning System (GPS) devices are also cheap and easy to use.  GPS devices can be hidden in your car, your purse or other objects you carry with you.  Your abuser can also use your car’s GPS system (if installed) to see where you’ve been.

If you discover any tracking or recording devices, leave them alone until you’re ready to leave.  While it may be tempting to remove them or shut them off, this will alert your abuser that you’re on to them.

Help from Domestic Violence Shelters

For women, domestic violence shelters generally have room for both mothers and their children. However, most do not house the family pet(s).   Search HERE for shelters around the country that house families and pets together.  Some shelters partner with local animal shelters to house pets temporarily if you’re unable to make arrangements for your pet on your own.  Contact shelters in your area beforehand to identify pet friendly shelters available to you.

Shelters will provide for all your basic living needs, including food and childcare.  The length of time you can stay at a shelter varies, but most shelters will also help you find a permanent home, job and other things you need to start a new life.  The shelter should also be able to refer you to other services in your area for abused women including, but not limited to:  legal help, services for children, support groups, counseling, education opportunities, employment programs or health care services.

Getting Started

In the U.S. and Canada contact:  The Hotline

In the UK contact:  National Domestic Violence Helpline

In Australia contact:  National Domestic Resource Centre Victoria

Worldwide:  International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies

For Men

Emergency Shelters for men, with or without children, can be limited.  Please speak to a helpline advocate as soon as safely possible to find out what’s available in your area.

In the US and Canada contact:

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women

In the UK contact: ManKind

In Australia contact:  One In Three

Restraining orders

Get a restraining order or protective order against your abuser.  Make sure to include your pets in the order as well.  Understand that the police can only enforce a restraining order if your abuser violates it and if you report the violation.

Find out how restraining orders are enforced in your area.  Will your abuser will be given a citation or will they actually be taken to jail?  If the police simply talk to the abuser or issue a citation, your abuser may see it as a sign that the police will do nothing and feel there are no real consequences for pursuing you.

In any event, a restraining order or protective order is not what will keep you safe. It's an important tool that you can use to keep yourself safe.  Do not allow yourself to fall into a false sense of security because an order was issued!  You and the people you trust in your life must remain vigilant for your personal safety.

Change your routine as much as possible and always be alert to your surroundings.  Shop at different stores at different times, fill any prescriptions at a different pharmacy, take a different route to school or work and/or move your children to a new day care.

Remember, you are in control now!

Moving On

It’s best to take the time you need to get to know yourself and understand how you got into an abusive relationship.  Take advantage of every resource that is available to you, particularly counseling or group therapy.  There’s no sense in rushing into another relationship that will likely end the same way, especially if you have a child.  This video explains why you must Choose Your Partner Carefully.

Surviving an abusive relationship is a victory for you.  Be proud of yourself!   It's likely it will take a while to get over the pain and for you to feel safe again. Just trust that you will.  With professional treatment and support from family and friends you can speed your recovery from the emotional and physical trauma you've survived.                                                   .

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